Laugh out loud with our selection of funny jokes. Enjoy clean, family-friendly humor anytime.

Looking for a good laugh? Here’s a collection of jokes to brighten your day. Get ready for some giggles with these quick and funny one-liners.

Funny Jokes

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
• I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something!
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation packages.
• I couldn’t figure out why I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
• I walked into a room and forgot why I was there. Now I just have to make a point to leave before I remember.
• What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
• I couldn’t make it to the gym today, but I’ve been working on my abs… of steel… from all the pizza I’ve been eating.
• I tried to eat a clock the other day. It was very time-consuming.
• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
• Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
• I bought a belt the other day. It was a waist of money.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
• I told my wife she was getting too emotional during our arguments. She didn’t speak to me for a week.

Funny Jokes for Adults:

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• My friend says he’s the king of the world. I said, “Yeah, right, you’re the king of your own couch.”
• I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
• I told my wife she was getting too emotional during our arguments. She didn’t speak to me for a week.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I went to buy some camo pants yesterday, but couldn’t find any.
• The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation packages.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I couldn’t figure out why I got fired from my job as a bank teller. It was because I just couldn’t make the deposits.
• I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
• I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.

Funny Jokes for Kids:

• Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
• What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
• Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
• Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
• What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
• What do cows like to do on weekends? Go to the movies!
• What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
• Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
• What do you get when you cross a duck with a pirate? A quack-erjack!
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• What did the frog say when he heard a joke? “That’s ribbit-ing!”
• What kind of dog does a magician have? A labra-cadabra-dor!
• How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it!
• Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!

100 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends:

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• My friend says he’s the king of the world. I said, “Yeah, right, you’re the king of your own couch.”
• I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
• I told my wife she was getting too emotional during our arguments. She didn’t speak to me for a week.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I went to buy some camo pants yesterday, but couldn’t find any.
• The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation packages.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I couldn’t figure out why I got fired from my job as a bank teller. It was because I just couldn’t make the deposits.
• I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
• I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
• Why don’t skeletons ever fight? They don’t have the guts!
• I went to the zoo the other day. All they had was one small dog. It was a shih tzu.
• Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!
• What did one plate say to the other? “Lunch is on me.”
• I told my wife she was getting too emotional during our arguments. She didn’t speak to me for a week.
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
• I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
• What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley!
• I don’t trust stairs…they’re always up to something.
• Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• What did one sock say to the other? “I’m feeling pretty down today.”
• I bought a belt the other day. It was a waist of money.
• I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop…but when I got home, all the signs were there.
• How do you organize a space party? You planet!
• I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I once told a joke about a pencil, but it had no point.

Actually Funny Jokes:

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• My friend says he’s the king of the world. I said, “Yeah, right, you’re the king of your own couch.”
• I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
• I told my wife she was getting too emotional during our arguments. She didn’t speak to me for a week.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I went to buy some camo pants yesterday, but couldn’t find any.
• The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation packages.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I couldn’t figure out why I got fired from my job as a bank teller. It was because I just couldn’t make the deposits.
• I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
• I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.

Seriously Funny Jokes:

• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.
• I went to buy some camo pants yesterday, but couldn’t find any.
• The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation packages.
• I couldn’t figure out why I got fired from my job as a bank teller. It was because I just couldn’t make the deposits.
• I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
• I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.
• I walked into a room and forgot why I was there. Now I just have to make a point to leave before I remember.
• I was addicted to hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I saw a sign that said “Watch for children,” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
• I tried to eat a clock the other day. It was very time-consuming.
• I couldn’t figure out why I was getting terrible Wi-Fi in the kitchen. Turns out the microwave was interfering with the signal.
• I changed my password to “incorrect.” That way, when I forget it, the computer will tell me, “Your password is incorrect.”
• I got a reversible jacket for my birthday. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Funny Jokes for Kids (8-9):

• Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
• What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
• Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
• What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
• Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
• What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
• What do cows like to do on weekends? Go to the moo-vies!
• What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
• What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
• Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!
• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• What did the frog say when he heard a joke? “That’s ribbit-ing!”
• What kind of dog does a magician have? A labra-cadabra-dor!
• How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it!
• Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
• Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because he was already stuffed!
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

Funny Jokes Dirty (Mild):

• I’ve started investing in stocks… chicken stocks.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something.
• Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
• I bought a belt the other day. It was a waist of money.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• What did one sock say to the other? “I’m feeling pretty down today.”
• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
• Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
• I couldn’t figure out why I got fired from my job as a bank teller. It was because I couldn’t make enough deposits.
• Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• I walked into a room and forgot why I was there. Now I just have to make a point to leave before I remember.
• I once told a joke about a pencil, but it had no point.
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that’s just nuts!

Conclusion: Funny Jokes

laughter truly is the best medicine! Whether you’re sharing jokes with friends, family, or just enjoying a moment to yourself, a good laugh can brighten your day and lighten the mood. 

So go ahead, share these funny jokes and spread some joy because sometimes, all it takes is a good punchline to turn things around!

FAQS: Funny Jokes